It's Thanksgiving today (well, in America, it's still Thanksgiving...but here in Israel, it's already the 27th). We had a great day as our squad, with the girls cooking at three different houses and all coming together to create an amazing feast. I'm seriously so proud of the results. We played games and worked on a surprise for Christmas and said goodbye to one of our amazing squad leaders, Caroline. It really was a great day. I loved spending it with my J squad family.
 
And yet--I miss my family at home. Last night we had a squad worship night in the middle of the desert. It would have been this amazing experience for me, except I just couldn't get into it. Everyone around me was praising God and speaking life over each other and praying, and I was sitting there absolutely crying my eyes out. I couldn't think of anything else except about how much I wished that I could be at home with my "real" family. I felt so jealous knowing that my sisters were all at home hanging out, and I was left out of what was going on there.

After the night was over, as we walked back,  I talked with my other squad leader, Aaron, about what was going on in my heart. I told him how all I could think about was how much I wanted to be at home. I told him, "I just want to go home and be with my family. I'll come back--I promise. I just want to go home for a little bit." 
 
Aaron talked to me, trying to console me and identify with how I was feeling. It gave me peace when he told me, "If God wasn't doing something amazing in your life, I would say to heck with it, go home. But I know that God is doing something amazing in your life, and I think you know it, too."
 
It's in the hard moments like this that the World Race takes faith. Faith that God is calling me to be here for a reason. Faith that says, "I would give up ANYTHING if it led me into a deeper relationship with Christ." Faith to believe that this is all worth it. One of my squadmates, Audrey, wrote this amazing blog from a time when she was really struggling with being here.  She was just about ready to hop on a plane and just give up, when she heard God speaking to her. Here's an excerpt from her blog:
 
 After spending the majority of the day crying I was laying on one of the little foam mattress things that we use as our beds here.  I knew that going home was the wrong decision, but I didn't care.  I felt like God was speaking to me while I lay there:
 "Ok so it's too difficult for you to finish out the last eight months of this race and too difficult for you to miss three major holidays with your family, but can you do one small thing?"
"What small thing God?"
"Stop crying."
"Well, yes I suppose I could do that, it isn't very hard."
"Could you do another small thing, like sit up?"
"Yes that's pretty easy."
"Can you stand up?"
"Yes"
"Can you pick up all the tissues that are around you and throw them away?"
"Yeah I guess so."
"Now can you worship me for even five minutes, just sing some worship songs?"
"Yes"
 
I love this. I can totally identify with how she was feeling, because that's how I felt last night. I love how God spoke to her, and what He said. It's so true. God calls us to be obedient in the small things, and as we do that, He brings us into a better understanding of His character. As we know Him more, we are able to serve Him in bigger ways. We see that He is so worthy of everything that we have to offer, and that He will never let us down.
 
And so, I press forward. One big holiday down, two more to go. I cling to the family that God has provided me with through J squad and Team Ninja. I fall more in love with these people every single day. I also fall more in love with Skype. I was able to "hang out" with my family for an hour and a half and be involved in a new tradition called family concert. Halley, Lacey, and I sang "Shabbat Shalom" for my family. It was a big hit. Today I am thankful for both of my families, Skype, and God's love. I am blessed.